squid

I have a serious craving right now. I've had it for a few months now. Probably closer to a year, because it's been soooo long (due to pregnancy & actually having a baby), but this craving... this need, has to be fulfilled.
I need squid. Not fried squid (although I do love calamari). I need slimy, stinky squid on the dangling end of my line, Chronarch in hand, the sunshine beating down on my shoulders, saltwater in my hair.... this is my favorite place on earth. There's a place, about 35 miles out of Steinhatchee, where you can see nothing. Nothing but water and sky. This is what I call the "Kayla waters". I could stay out there and never want to come back. I'm a loud mouth. Not off shore. This is where I don't have to talk. I don't want to talk. No one else exists; no one else matters. Don't try to tell me how to fish, because I can fish circles around you and your boys. I don't need help reeling 'em in. I may be a girl, but I might surprise you. And, heaven forbid, don't ever try to bait my hook. There are few things that get to me like that. As far as I'm concerned, if I need someone to bait my hook, tell me when to "get it", and reel it in for me... all I did was hold a pole. I didn't catch a fish.
I don't know what it is about the ocean that just feels like home to me. I didn't even discover it until I was 17, but it's an addiction. Waking up at 4 a.m., spending all day out in the blistering hot Florida sun, coming in well after dark, a diet of Cheez-Its and Pepsi the only sustenance on the boat.... classic rock playing through the speakers while we ride around checking the sonar... looking for another number.... I want it. I need it. I took dance for twelve years, and the same way that the music would move my body and spirit, the ocean moves my soul. It is such a huge part of me and who I am.
I'm actually the only girl allowed on most of the guys boats that I've been fishing with. I've been told it's hot... that's the one time that I'm not concerned with being hot. I'm just me.
I love the way the saltwater sticks to your skin. Even after being home for a few days, every once in a while, in the shower, you'll get a slight hint of the saltiness dripping down your face... and you're reminded of all that is wonderful about the ocean.
This is pathetic. It's 10:15 on a Friday night & I'm writing about the ocean. I must miss it more than I thought.