A grenade.... really??

So, I am wayyyyy over-analytical. I know this. And I love music. I'm obsessed with chords, flow, lyrics... everything that makes a song what it is. So, with all of this thrown out there, you can safely assume that I actually pay attention to the lyrics to every. song. i. listen. to. And there are some really dumb songs out there. I'm a pretty open book. I try to be honest. I wear my heart on my sleeve & sometimes feel and say things that are probably borderline inappropriate. But, I tend to lack that filter between my brain and my mouth that tells me when to shut it... So, anyway. Like I was saying, I put myself out there emotionally. That's a well-known fact. But.... there are some things that not even I would say... much less do.
Catch a grenade for ya??? What?! Are you kidding me? If I see a grenade coming anywhere near my general direction, I'm running like hell. Not even gonna pretend otherwise. I don't care how much I love a man... I'm not catching a grenade. Period. So don't even ask.
Throw my hand on a blade for ya?? Seriously? I mean, when would that even be necessary? Is there a guy holding a gun to your head unless I "throw my hand on a blade"? Because that just sounds so absurd that I'm not even sure that's what he says.
Jump in front of a train? Negative. And my favorite- take a bullet straight through my brain.... Not happ'nin' cap'n. Sorry. I like myself. I love Kayla. And I have kids to live for. Sorry pal. If you wanna go out catchin' grenades, standin' on train tracks & throwin' your hands on blades and stuff- that's your deal. Of course, I'd rather you not. primarily because that just makes you stupid and I would hate to think that I wasted time with someone with such limited intellectual capabilities, because you are obviously short bus material.
In all honesty, I would do any/all of these things for my children, if necessary. Their life is far more important than my own. But, ideally, i'd just push 'em off the train tracks because me standing in front of the thing isn't gonna stop it anyway. Then we both go down. Double suck.